In search of the perfect eye cream

I first bought a specialist eye cream in my early 20s. It was by a luxury brand which doesn't exist now, Charles of the Ritz, and was a pearly pink. In those days I was looking for something to deal with the hereditary dark circles under my eyes. Now, I want an eye cream that helps with those plus hydrates and plumps the fine lines. The two needs are not mutually compatible. Most of the creams I have tried for dark circles a) do not work and b) are drying. I tried Clinique's Uncircle and when in the USA, rushed off to get Hylexin, "a dark circle breakthrough." It didn't improve the dark circles at all and I stopped using it because it was so drying.

I then switched to creams which hydrate and feel comfortable on the skin. My favourite was always Decleor Hydrotenseur serum, which feels wonderfully light and soothing and seems to eradicate fine lines. Last week, having run out and nowhere near a Decleor stockist, I bought Chanel's Rectifiance Intense retexturising eye cream. Initially I thought it was good: it seemed to hydrate and plump out the fine lines. Unfortunately, after using it for a few days, the skin around my eyes became red and sore so I stopped using it and reverted to a sample of Decleor Vitaroma which was such a relief.

I have now re-ordered Hydrotenseur from a very good website in the Channel Islands, Beauty and the East. They usually despatch on the same day, postage is free to the UK, and they usually include a few samples. There are often discounts for regular customers. Today for example I got 10% off, which was not insignificant when I bought both the eye serum and a new moisturiser(Experience de L'Age Triple Action Cream). Far better service than you get in most of the department stores!

I find that the expensive eye creams are far better than the cheap ones. Olay's Regenerist made my eyes red and sore, and L'Oreal's Collagen Filler Eye was drying and ineffective. Others which were no good for me were Clarins and Estee Lauder's Resilience Lift.

The best fix for the dark circles is to drink plenty of water, have enough sleep and use a light application of Yves St Laurent's Radiant Touch. If you're heavy handed, you get the reverse panda look as sported by Caprice.

Posh: Keep Lindsay at Bay - get her quilting for the day

I read that Lindsay Lohan (my partner said "Lindsay who?" Sums it up well) recently declared a wager saying she would "get" David Beckham.

I hope poor old Posh isn't getting too wound up about it. I wouldn't want her to go off her food. I mean, Lindsay Lohan?! What does she have going for her? She's been in a few teen films, she's had a few brushes with the long arm of the law, she's been in and out of rehab a few times (and still only in her early 20s) and she was turned down by George Clooney. Not a very impressive list of credentials, is it? She's not very appealing physically either, gingery with freckles and gawky. She plainly thinks she's a man magnet, although Calum Best, one of our best known idle layabouts and a recent squeeze of hers, is hardly in the same league as David Beckham, or George Clooney.

Still, if reports are to be believed, she's about to be fired from her studio so I guess she will have a bit of time on her hands. Posh, Machiavelli advises us to know and befriend our enemies, so my recommendation is that you meet Linds for a glass of that weird tea you drink and get her quilting for charity. Anything to help rehabilitate her image (her own advisors can't seem to do it) and keep her away from your husband.