It's not something to volunteer, strictly speaking, but one of my guilty pleasures is watching xxx's Next Top Model on Living TV. The channel busily broadcasts versions from the US, UK, Canada and Australia.
America's Next Top Model was the original and still the best. Tyra Banks is the only true supermodel presenter of the entire series and it was plainly designed as a vehicle for her. I do find her posturing a bit over-the-top at times. The first time I watched it, about two series ago, she came out in army fatigues doing a Robocop type walk. She looked very sturdy and frankly ridiculous.
She usually has "living legend Twiggy" on her panel - and I'm not sure any of the dozy wannabees know who she is, plus a character called Miss Jay Alexander who lends nothing to proceedings whatsoever except a bouffant afro.
One of the devices they use in America's Next Top Model is to have one really bitchy girl who says how great she is. This girl always goes through to the final four but is then dropped like a hot potato, as if she was always a no hoper. The poor girl is there as a stool pigeon, to entertain us with her nastiness.
UK's Next Top Model is an inferior version with very chavvy bitchy girls and Lisa Snowdon, who is famous for being the fairly ordinary model who went out with George Clooney. In the last series, the girls were staggeringly stupid. Asked to name some top designers, all they could come up with was Karen Millen.
Recently I took a look at Australia's Next Top Model. There's a Lisa Snowdon lookalike presiding, a Jodhi Meares who is a model turned swimwear designer, and perfectly ordinary. The would-be models are the plainest of the bunch, with bad skin to boot, except for the ethereal Alice and 16 year old Steph. The show is a lot more moral than the US and UK versions: the under 18's were segregated to stop them going out at night. And one thing this show doesn't do is show off Australia very well. All the buildings look like prefabs and somehow the top models, agents and designers shown don't seem very sophisticated or edgy.
Last night I experienced Canda's Next Top Model for the first time. This show does showcase Canada's scenery. The girls had to travel to their house in a boat. Again, more of a moral tone. One of the girls was severely reprimanded for walking round topless behind the scenes of a shoot and "embarrassing" the other girls and crew. Hello?! The presenter is also billed as a supermodel, and she might be in Canada but she comes across as cold and wooden. A bit like Rachel Hunter when she presented "Make me a Supermodel" in the UK, a replica show where the public vote.
One thing none of the shows have done recently is feature a lardass. The US and UK shows always do - well, they call them "plus sized" - and there are always lots of mixed messages with some judges saying they're too big, some girls saying they're fat, and then the public overruling the judges (in the case of Make Me a Supermodel).
Very entertaining flotsam.
