Oh Candace!

Lipstick Jungle (Living TV) is truly horrendous - yet compulsively so. From the talented pen of Candace Bushnell, it makes Sex & The City look like Ibsen. I remember reading the book and it was not as tacky as the TV show.

The main problem is with the cast. Apart from Brooke Shields, they are all variously frozen and wooden, or laugh outloud frozen and wooden.

Brooke is the only one who has created a genuine character with flaws and warmth. Nico (Kim Raver) is supposed to be a high-flying magazine editor, but we see very little of that. Instead she's creating zero chemistry with her toy boy lover Kirby, and reacting to crises, good news, bad news, with the same slightly bemused expression.

Poor Raver is so frozen by Botox she would pull the same expression if she had won the lottery or if she was being consumed by the fires of hell.

Equally implausible is the "top fashion designer" Victory Ford (Lindsay Price), who looks as if she shops at Hennes. In an early episode she designed a red carpet dress for a young starlet, and I have never seen anything to horrific. She has a very short boyfriend who's supposed to be a wealthy mogul, but comes across as a short man who might work for the local bank.

There are a couple of Brit males - Wendy's husband and her boss - and boy are they frightful.

The main problem with Lipstick Jungle, apart from the cast, is that it doesn't look luxe. The women are supposed to be high fliers but their clothes don't look designer. There's no aspiration. In SATC, the restaurants, the shoes, even the men, looked cool. In LJ, they've either been shopping at Hennes (Victory) or Marks & Spencer (the rest). I wonder what Candace thinks.....or maybe she is laughing all the way to the bank?

Grayshott Spa Revisited

I last visited Grayshott Spa in Hindhead, Surrey, eight years ago when it was called Grayshott Hall and under different ownership.

In those days I was single and used to have regular 3 and 4 night breaks at spa retreats. My favourite was Grayshott because although pricey, it was less commercialised than others like Ragdale Hall and Forest Mere, and the emphasis is truly holistic - health, relaxation and beauty.

I feared the worst though when I heard it was under new ownership and taking day visitors. That used to be one area where it was different, along with everyone having a heat treatment and 40 minute massage after breakfast, included in the tariff.

The free massage has gone, sadly, and the pianist who played before dinner; but there have been several improvements. There is now an outdoor heated pool, a cinema has replaced the smoking room and a drinks bar the billiards room. The rooms have been upgraded: they were well below par eight years ago.

What makes Grayshott superb is its staff - many of whom have been there for years; the quality of its treatments and the beautiful grounds. The food too is superb, although there doesn't seem to be a differentiation now between normal healthy eating and trying to lose weight. There seemed to be a detox programme going on in the conservatory restaurant, which was closed, but apart from that, everyone ate the same food in the dining room. It was very good quality but I doubt if it was substantial enough for men who don't want to lose weight. There was no bread for example and hardly any potatoes at dinner.

There are areas that can be improved. The web site is what I call a "faux" website. You register and give the dates when you want to stay, but then someone rings you back. And when she did, she had taken an old address from the database for me instead of the one I had just entered on the web. Frankly, if you can't check room availability live online, and then book it and pay for it in a secure online transaction, don't bother with a website. I much prefer to make bookings online because when you're in an open plan office you really don't want colleagues knowing you're off to a spa and booking a facial or lymphatic drainage.

Other areas for improvement include the exercise schedule. It was very light. You have to pay extra to do Pilates or yoga, and apart from that there is hardly anything else except for aqua aerobics twice daily. The Pilates teacher is excellent though, and class size is restricted to six.

I would have liked more choice too in the treatments offered. The only facials were from Guinot but they used to have Clarins and Decleor too. There were no cosmetics on sale, although I quite fancied treating myself to a lipstick.

But overall it was a relaxing and pleasant experience, and I will definitely go back again. I won't leave it eight years next time!

Guilty Pleasures: Next Top Model

It's not something to volunteer, strictly speaking, but one of my guilty pleasures is watching xxx's Next Top Model on Living TV. The channel busily broadcasts versions from the US, UK, Canada and Australia.

America's Next Top Model was the original and still the best. Tyra Banks is the only true supermodel presenter of the entire series and it was plainly designed as a vehicle for her. I do find her posturing a bit over-the-top at times. The first time I watched it, about two series ago, she came out in army fatigues doing a Robocop type walk. She looked very sturdy and frankly ridiculous.

She usually has "living legend Twiggy" on her panel - and I'm not sure any of the dozy wannabees know who she is, plus a character called Miss Jay Alexander who lends nothing to proceedings whatsoever except a bouffant afro.

One of the devices they use in America's Next Top Model is to have one really bitchy girl who says how great she is. This girl always goes through to the final four but is then dropped like a hot potato, as if she was always a no hoper. The poor girl is there as a stool pigeon, to entertain us with her nastiness.


UK's Next Top Model is an inferior version with very chavvy bitchy girls and Lisa Snowdon, who is famous for being the fairly ordinary model who went out with George Clooney. In the last series, the girls were staggeringly stupid. Asked to name some top designers, all they could come up with was Karen Millen.

Recently I took a look at Australia's Next Top Model. There's a Lisa Snowdon lookalike presiding, a Jodhi Meares who is a model turned swimwear designer, and perfectly ordinary. The would-be models are the plainest of the bunch, with bad skin to boot, except for the ethereal Alice and 16 year old Steph. The show is a lot more moral than the US and UK versions: the under 18's were segregated to stop them going out at night. And one thing this show doesn't do is show off Australia very well. All the buildings look like prefabs and somehow the top models, agents and designers shown don't seem very sophisticated or edgy.

Last night I experienced Canda's Next Top Model for the first time. This show does showcase Canada's scenery. The girls had to travel to their house in a boat. Again, more of a moral tone. One of the girls was severely reprimanded for walking round topless behind the scenes of a shoot and "embarrassing" the other girls and crew. Hello?! The presenter is also billed as a supermodel, and she might be in Canada but she comes across as cold and wooden. A bit like Rachel Hunter when she presented "Make me a Supermodel" in the UK, a replica show where the public vote.

One thing none of the shows have done recently is feature a lardass. The US and UK shows always do - well, they call them "plus sized" - and there are always lots of mixed messages with some judges saying they're too big, some girls saying they're fat, and then the public overruling the judges (in the case of Make Me a Supermodel).

Very entertaining flotsam.

Top marks for the Tangle Teezer

I've always loved the excitement and mystery of beauty parcels, where you pay for a collection but you don't know what it's going to contain.

When I was a young teenager I would wait excitedly for my parcel from Universal Beauty Club. I soon discovered that while they boasted of big-name products, most of the names in the parcel were obscure and from other countries. And I stopped subscribing when I received the truly dreadful Californian Poppy perfume.

But it didn't put me off from subscribing recently to Brand New You magazine's Brand New You Tube. It costs around £20 a quarter and you receive a big tube containing at least four products. You test the products and review them with your feedback included in the magazine. I've had two tubes so far. The big hit product for me in the first tube was the Tangle Teezer.
You can buy it here.
I wish it had been around years ago when, as a child, I always had a hideous big tangle at the back of my head which my mum would try to pull out with a comb. I hated it so much I asked for my hair to be cut off, and I went round with very short hair like a boy for years.

Organic Apotheke Rujuvenating Face Cream
In th second tube which I received last week, I've so far been very enamoured with a moisturizer called "Rujuvenating Face Cream" from the Organic Apotheke.
I wasn't expecting great things because I am always buying expensive face creams that will plump up, reduce lines, make you look radiant etc, and to be perfectly frank, I seldom notice ANY difference except that they all generally prepare your skin for make-up and feel comfortable.
But this product, made entirely from organic botannicals and naturally occurring minerals, felt different from the start.
I could actually feel it tightening on my face at the first application. It forms a film which dries (it's not unpleasant) and really does make your skin look smoother and, yes!, more radiant. It has a lovely rose fragrance identical to Decleor's Rose d'Orient oil.
The only drawback is that you need to apply make-up quite gently because if you brush on blusher too vigorously it starts to come off in little pieces. But I found you can work around that.

Finally I wondered what happened to Universal Beauty Club. It still seems to exist: there is a website, but you can't see beyond the home page unless you sign up for parcels. I haven't seen it promoted in the UK for years. If anyone knows anything about it, do update us all.....

Gwyneth you're looking faintly ridiculous

After several years being a "mom," actress Gwyneth Paltrow has ensured that she got big headlines upon her return by wearing a bizarre collection of shoes, and then, as the photo shows, a strange plunging catsuit.

We're told that Gwyneth has been using Madonna's personal trainer and is so proud of her new toned body that she's keen to flaunt it. Consequently we've seen 35 year old Gwyneth in very short skirts and very high heels - seven inches in one case.

Although she's only 35, Gwyneth seems a lot older. She comes across as very straight, a bit boring, and very disciplined. I bet her diet is all "macro this" and "none of that." Seeing her wear these outlandish clothes seems as unlikely as your grandmother doing it.

Still, at least she got the desired publicity, and none of the hag writers criticised her legs, which are long and cellulite free. So Gwyneth, job done; now you can slip those flip flops on.

Elizabeth Hurley will model bikinis into her 60s!A couple of years ago when she was 40, Elizabeth Hurley said coyly that she would no longer pose in a bikini. Well, she was photographed on the cover of the Sunday Times magazine yesterday doing just that. And I suspect she will continue to "look amazing" in a bikini well into her 60's. Why? Well, Hurley is as bad a model as she was an actress, but she is a businesswoman and she's realised that if she continues to remain slim and taut, we civilians as she calls us will continue to admire her and wish we could look as good. And maybe buy her bikinis, whether it's her range Elizabeth Hurley Beach, or her "diffusion" line at Mango. It's all money in the bank.

I take my hat off to her because it isn't easy to look as good as Hurley in your 40's. Hormones and gravity start to play their part in your body's inevitable decline south. The only ways to keep it at bay are excessive exercise and dieting, and/or plastic surgery. I'm not sure Hurley has had surgery yet. Her breasts had clearly been manipulated as part of the air brushing in the Sunday Times as they did look suspiciously fuller. And she may have had a tummy tuck, which would explain a completely flat, stretchmark free stomach in a woman who's had a baby. It's obvious she has Botox and something injected into her lips, and maybe other injections too. But I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on surgery. No, I think that Hurley does what Madonna does: excessive exercise and dieting. Madonna apparently spends three hours a day in the gym. Hurley famously eats very little, although she usually claims to "eat loads."

In yesterday's article, she is vague about her regime. She says she has a Power Plate but doesn't know how to use it yet, and she says she "ought to" go to the gym. She also admits Pilates and yoga aren't enough to keep the ravages of time at bay.

I think she's just trying to follow the example of many others - Sophia Loren, Sharon Stone, Joan Collins - who like to keep their beauty secrets just that, secrets, in the hope that we will imagine they somehow sup at the fountain of eternal youth.

I am getting down to a fierce regime myself in the interests of looking passable in a bikini in Greece in June. It's at this time every year I start to panic, and last year I even resorted to Smart Lipo which was a complete waste of money, as was the Universal Contour Wrap. My advice to anyone who wants to look good on the beach is that short cuts are not the way to go. The only way is disciplined eating and exercise. Tough but true. So if you want to look like Hurley this summer (and don't forget,she was extensively airbrushed in the pictures - you can see from the dark lines around her silhouette and the extreme whiteness of her eyes), sign up for a 5k run, get a personal trainer or anything that will motivate you to burn some calories. If you don't make it, there are great flattering one piece swimsuits and sarongs.

Eve Lom Testing Update

I wrote a few weeks ago about the Eve Lom products I had bought and was itching to try. I think enough time has elapsed to give you an insight into whether or not they're working for me.

Firstly the cleanser with muslin cloth. Truly excellent. I enjoy both using it, and the soothing action of the heated cloth on the balm, and the way my skin feels afterwards. My skin does seem clearer and smoother as a result of using the cleanser. I've become such an addict that when I travel I scoop some of the balm into a tiny pot so I can take it with me (the tub is rather on the large side!). An essential partner to the cleanser, for me, is Dynaspot. This is a cream smelling of tea tree oil which you apply to spots. It dries to a chalky finish so it's best used at night or when you aren't wearing make-up. I've found it's great for preventing spots and dealing with any that have the audacity to appear.

The rest of the products though I found a bit ineffective. I would say that they're better for younger women whose skin is maybe less parched than mine! The cuticle cream is too runny, has a strange smell and doesn't work as well as the cheaper Sally Hansen products. Same for the hand cream. Just not rich enough for me. The Rescue Mask was also a disappointment. I didn't notice any difference after using it a few times.

Bad Hair Days

Apart from the few times when I've had a disaster at the hands of inept hairdressers (a Kevin Keegan type perm springs to mind, plus a savage pudding-basin inflicted by my gran), my hair has always been low maintenance. I'm a wash and go type of girl: I can't be bothered with faffing about with products or heated rollers or straighteners. No, I wash it and leave it to dry naturally, pushing waves into shape with my hands.

I've been lucky that my hair has been inclined to wave, and a hairdresser I discovered a couple of years ago (Helen at Zekana, local salon) really understands this and cuts it to best effect and then dries it with a diffuser so it goes really curly.

But, here is the rub: for the last few months my wave has all but disappeared. Helen noticed the last time she cut my hair, and said it might be down to the hair colourant I use, or the shampoo and conditioner. I changed all of these - but the problem is still there.

Now I know how a bad hair day can affect your mood for the whole day. From never having to worry about my hair, I'm now gloomy and wondering if I should get it cut shorter (although short hair never did anything for me, and I have photos from throughout the 90s to prove it).

My next "solution" is to try a clarifying shampoo. I'm thinking perhaps years of using polymer type shampoos and conditioners have created build-up. It may indeed by many years of using colourants. My hair has always been quite strong and resilient, but who knows?

My main fear is that it is age related. Let me tell you, after the age of 45 the ageing process seems to accelerate. It's harder than ever to keep the weight off (even if you're the same weight as you were a few years ago, the fat distribution is somehow different!) and you start to wonder about Botox and Restylane. Now add "bad hair days" to the list. Ho hum!

Aero ad: the bubble's burst

I don't know about you but I don't like the new Aero chocolate bar ad where some bemuscled hunk with no shirt on talks about how the bubbles are formed. "I didn't know that was how they made the bubbles," enthuses one girl, while another says "oh -were you listening to him?"

In print ads in magazines, they have the same hunk and presumably his charisma is supposed to be so compelling that we remember and associate it with the TV ad.

I find this "reverse sexism" pretty tired and trite for today. When Diet Coke started the "Diet Coke Break" a few years ago, which was built on the same premise, it seemed more zeitgisty and rule breaking. Now, it's just me too. Women are still used to sell cars and auto parts in men's magazines but there would still shrieks of outrage, and complaints to the ASA, if an ad like the Aero ad ran with a partially clad woman and two leering men.

I thought about showing a picture of the guy but then I would be guilty of what the Daily Mail and the News of the World do: run a critical article but then feature gratuitously a picture to feed the frenzy. So instead here is the Cadbury's gorilla.

Chocolate advertising has become as difficult as car advertising. There are no big innovations and really everything has been done. So the ads have to try to capture some of the emotion around the experience. Or, as Aero are trying to do, create some stand-out. I like the way Galaxy positioned their chocolate around relaxation, sinful luxury and reading. All good things we associate with chocolate. Their sponsorship of the Richard & Judy book club plays into this.

I am less impressed with the Cadbury gorilla - although all the guys at the ad agency love it (though I wonder if that's because they are in the industry, rather than a chocolate eating member of the public). I wonder where they will take it. It was also too derivative for me of another campaign where a man is seen playing the drums, and when he turns round, you realise he's quite old. I can't remember the brand, but the message was clear: challenging perceptions.

Testing: Eve Lom

Occasionally I get a bee in my bonnet about wanting to use an entire, co-ordinated theme of skincare products. Thus it was that last week I was in Selfridge's buying the Eve Lom range.

Now I don't know why I succumb to this sort of behaviour. There is really no reason to use an entire range from one manufacturer, even though they like to insist that the products work better together.

When I've done this before, it hasn't always been successful. I remember spending literally hundreds on products from the Kanebo range, and the Dramatically Different range from Clinique a few years ago. Neither gave any improvement. Deep down I believe that how your skin looks is hereditary, coupled with what you eat and drink. I try not to drink too much alcohol - it really has a bad effect on my skin - and I try to eat lots of fruit and vegetables, plus I take certain vitamins and supplements. But nonetheless, I am still a sucker for marketing. So what provoked the Eve Lom assault?

Lately my nose has been a bit red, which, as I don't drink very much, I put down to inflammation or irritation. I've been using a Vichy cleanser, a Mignon toner (which is marvellous for preventing spots) and a Decleor moisturizer, plus a weekly exofoliation with a Murad product. Anyway, something among that little lot has been disagreeing with my skin.

I've often read rave reviews about the Eve Lom cleanser, which comes with a muslin cloth. I've only had it for a few days but I have to say it's really fab. The cleanser is a fairly thick balm which you apply to your face. You then hold a hot cloth against your skin for five seconds, three times, then removing the cleanser and finally closing the pores with the cloth soaked in cold water. The hot and cold water treatment feels lovely, and my skin seems to be looking less blotchy and irritated.

Eve Lom only prescribes moisturizers if the skin really needs them. I did buy the moisturizer but I'm not slathering it on for the sake of it. So far, my skin seems moisturised enough (it tends to be dry on the cheeks). The eye serum doesn't seem as good as Decleor Hydrotenseur. That really does give a lifting effect. And I'm quite disappointed with the hand cream. It feels nice, though smells a little strange, when you first apply it, but after 30 minutes your hands feel parched again. I can't really give an opinion yet on the cuticle conditioner. I still have to test the Rescue Mask. It is apparently very good for congested skin, a problem I suffer from occasionally. More later!

Guilt free meals for big appetites

As promised, here are some of my tips for overcoming the biggest issue facing most dieters: hunger.

It's very depressing to look at what you're supposed to eat when you're dieting. Matchbox size cubes of cheese. Palm of the hand sized protein (as if a steak is that small!).

As I mentioned below, I find calorie counting works well for me and I use the Nutracheck website which also advises you on the fat content and how many portions of fruit and veg you're having a day.

I usually have All Bran with stewed blackberries for breakfast; a mid morning treat of a skinny latte; soup and a slice of Burgen soya and linseed bread for lunch; an afternoon snack of a banana or a Sainsbury mini houmous pot with an organic pitta, and for dinner, something along the lines of:
- Sainsbury Taste the Difference thick cut oven chips with a TTD chunky cod loin in breadcrumbs with half a tin of mushy peas. If you compare calorie content in the supermarket, you'll see that many of the so-called "Be good to yourself" meals have the same, or sometimes more, calories than the "Taste the Difference" range. The oven chips are slightly higher in calories and not so good! So make sure you do the comparisons.
- Sainsburys Mushroom Stir fry with 100g turkey breast, sliced, and half a container of Sainsburys Green Thai stir fry sauce. This is wonderfully satisfying: you get a huge bowlful, it goes a long way towards your "5 a day" and it's really quick to make. I like to have it when I get back from aqua aerobics.
- Sainsburys Taste the Difference slightly smoked salmon fillet with a small jacket potato and 45g of grated cheese; carrots, peas and runner beans.

I make sure I don't go over 1400 calories a day. Last week I lost three pounds but it's more usual to lose one to two, depending on how much exercise you do. If you have a lot of weight to lose, you'll lose much bigger amounts each week in the first few weeks.

Soup for lunch is a healthy, quick option. I sometimes make my own and freeze some it: Gillian McKeith has some great recipes. Or if I'm in a rush, I'll buy Covent Garden soups which have healthy ingredients (no E numbers) - but make sure you check the calorie content as some of them have a lot more than others! Tomato and chunky vegetable is a nice one.

I absolutely adore cheese and houmous, so I have to make sure I include these, in very small quantities, otherwise my diet fails. Sainsburys now do a three-pot set of mini houmous pots, which is excellent news. They're 90 calories each. If I'm running out of calories, I eat a pot with cucumber crudites and cherry tomatoes, as pitta breads are higher in calories than the actual houmous.

I get my cheese fix in a cheese & onion sandwich on Sundays served with Quavers which are fairly low calorie for a snack (88 calories).

Don't make the mistake of going for foods marked "low fat" for slimmers. Quite often these have more sugar, or sugar substitutes, in them to make up for the lack of fat. I'm a big believer in going for the "real" thing - such as butter and not those disgusting tasting spreads - but in small quantities. That's what successful dieting is all about, let's face it.

Sometimes I cook from scratch and create my own recipes. You can enter these into Nutracheck and it will store the recipe and give you the calorie total. I make a good spaghetti bolognese with decent quality steak mince (not the low fat steak - it has no taste) cooked on its own to get rid of the fat; oions, garlic, mushrooms, red wine, herbs, tomato puree and a tin of tomatoes, and then adding a little Sainsburys Be Good to Yourself bolognese sauce. The drawback with this is that by the time you've added a small amount of pasta, you have a fairly high calorie meal, so I only have it if I've skimped on calories during the day.

Ten pounds to lose, eeek!

Despite my good intentions over Christmas, the festive season combined with a cessation of my aqua classes, a trip to Las Vegas and too many cocktails have resulted in me putting on 10 pounds!! Eeek.

Last night the DH and I agreed we would start another race to lose half a stone (I'm keeping schtum about those extra pounds). We did this last year: I lost 10 pounds, he lost about the same, but as we'd both said we wanted to lose a stone, neither of us claimed the reward.

The prize this time is a weekend of walking for him if he wins, and for me, noise reducing headphones from Bose.

Last night we had a curry to "celebrate" the end of our bad ways, and today I went to the gym and he went for a run, which he does six days of the week. I remembered why I find going to the gym such a FAFF. Firstly, you have to assemble all your kit. For me, two sports bras and the usual shoes, trousers, top; the iPOD fully charged and its arm sleeve thing; heart rate monitor; bottle of water; two towels (I decided to wash my hair). It's much easier to go swimming, or aqua, because all you need then is your swimming costume, flip flops and a towel.

I've booked to go to aqua three times next week, and I'm back using Nutracheck, the online calorie counter.

Today I've been eating lots of fruit and veg. My skin is dry and spotty (if that's possible) after all the air con in the US plus the poor food there.

I'll keep you posted on progress - plus some of my diet secrets including how to create huge great meals for those with big appetites that still allow you to lose weight!

Tested: Proto-col collagen tablets, Crest White Strips, Bliss Thinny Chin Chin

I consider myself an indefatigable tester of new beauty products, pills and potions and am happy to share my findings with you, dear reader.

I have been taking Proto-col collagen tablets for two months now. The theory is that we lose more and more collagen from the age of 35 upwards, with resulting slackening of skin tone. The capsules, three a day x 400mg, are supposed to improve skin, hair, joints and nails.

I wasn't sure about the merits of taking collagen like this, in capsule format. I'm aware of collagen injections, but who knows if collagen taken internally does anything for the skin? I have yet to find any official research.

I haven't noticed any real difference to my skin, to be honest. And no improvement to my nails, which have become very weak in past months. But one thing that did improve, after the first dose, was joint pain. I have an elbow which I think is afflicted by repetitive strain injury (it can't be tennis elbow!) and after taking Proto-col, the pain had gone completely. It wasn't permanent, but it does make a difference. I've taken glucosamine/condroitin and green lipped mussel extract and neither of those made any difference.

On another subject, have just been to the US and the inevitable trip to Sephora. There I bought some Bliss Thinny Chin Chin, which is aimed at firming up the decollete and jowls. After applying it for the first time, I can confirm it definitely tightens up the skin: you can feel it doing this. I don't think it lasts long, but good for a party!

Also in the US, I bought some Crest White Strips. You couldn't buy these in the UK the last time I looked, although I believe they're available now on the web. I bought the premium kit. You apply the strips to your teeth twice a day for 30 mins and after seven days you're supposed to see a difference. I had my teeth bleached a few years ago and they've been looking a bit yellow lately so I thought I would try it. I'll let you know how I can get on.

Note to Victoria

I see Mrs Beckham was voted worst dresser in Mr Blackwell's list of 2007. Highly justified, judging by the latest photos of her in a lime green ensemble. I noticed in Hello recently that both Katie Holmes (one of VB's friends) and Angelina Jolie were seen sporting glamorous outerwear at red carpet events. Outerwear? Yes, shock horror, a stylish raincoat in the case of Ms Jolie, and a gorgeous coat in the case of Katie. Let's hope their example will put paid to the spectacle of VB, and hundreds of ladies in Newcastle, wearing sleeveless dresses at night with no coat and no tights!